The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
These tits shall not be calmed
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
