If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
