He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Randomize
