Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
