their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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