im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
