Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
