we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize