:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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