i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
