I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
