My friends, they love my intelligence
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
