Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
