i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
