Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
