just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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