Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
