you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
