Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
