I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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