I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
