I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
