I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
do herpes really smell.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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