i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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