I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
