Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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