I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
