and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
