The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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