I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
