I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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