is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
