so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
