So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
