I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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