So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
pray to the hookup gods
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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