so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
