but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
