what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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