My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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