I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
