put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
