Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
