I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
