apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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