The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
be right there i have to get my cape
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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