At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
