remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
