She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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