We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
