when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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