I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
