There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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