Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize