What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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