I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
