She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
