I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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