Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize