I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
