He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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