i barfeds in our rink
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
