yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
