Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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