I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just high enough for therapy.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize