I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
