I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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