She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You brought string cheese to the strip club
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
