Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
