The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
