how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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