Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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