Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize