At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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